I know it's awfully late, but I'm proud to present-
Avatarsues' MST of PreyOfTheDemons' How To Help Sue Authors For Flamers
Hello and welcome to my very first MST! A MST, for those who don't know, is the shortened word for Mystery Science Theater. In the past, there was a show that parodied and poked fun of really bad movies, which is exactly what this is, only with fanfiction.
My comments and snarkings will be bolded, so the readers won't be confused as to who's saying what. Also, I'm sorry if this isn't as funny as a regular MST. It's my first and a couple of my comments may come off as a tad snarky.
Also, here is a link to the original story without my comments. Just so you have it on hand.
Let's stop the introductory blah blah blah for now and dive right on into the MST!
****
A spectrum appeared in the sky and a book fell down from it. The book landed in Aang's lap.
Avatarsues: God has set you up with a book, Aang! Now is the time to become semi-intelligent!
"Hey guys look what I found." Aang said.
Aang: It's a crappy vendetta book filled with anti-flame teachings and rules that state that it is the reviewer's job to fix the badfics we see on the Pit every day!
"What is it?" Sokka questioned listlessly, trying to fall back asleep.
Aang: Didn't I just tell you...?
"A book lets read it." Aang said as he opened it.
Aang: It's not like I have a world to save or elements to master! :D
Avatarsues: Shouldn't that "lets" be "let's"...?
HOW TO HELP SUE-AUTHORS FOR DUMB FLAMERS
Avatarsues: Aang then promptly stopped reading, as he had no idea what a Suethor or a "Dumb Flamer" was. Instead, he fed the book to Appa. The end.
Lesson One
Sue-authors didn't start this war. Flamers who didn't give good advice or even bother to help did. If you don't want Sue-authors then help them out. Give them a helping hand instead of kicking them upside the fuckin' head. Give them a compliment then some advice, that's what I do.
Avatarsues: Actually, it's neither the Suethor's nor the Flamers'/Concitters' fault. This has been and always will be an endless cycle. Much like the Avatar cycle, the cycle of Sues and Flamers/Concritters will always be there. Wherever there is a hawt bishie to create an OC for or an awesome universe to be zapped to, there will be a person there to smack the Suethor back into reality. Likewise, there will be Concritters to do the same thing, only in a more kind nature.
Also, I'd rather eat roaches on Fear Factor than give a Suethor a compliment. You know why "kicking them upside the head" works better than a compliment? Because I'd never be caught dead complimenting some Sparklypoo, Zuko character raping, Avatar canon killing, "_____bender". Most Sues I feature here are beyond repair, and instead of dancing around the subject of giving the Suethor compliments and cookies, I'd rather tell them like it is. The story's crap, the Sue's crap, and there's little (if any) hope for it.
Harsh? Yes. Reality? Hell yeah.
So don't make a checklist that insults the author or might not even say a problem with the story sometimes. Read the story twice carefully for things you might have missed then give a compliment on something you liked then give some gentle advice. Don't say "you're stupid and have no talent" because we try our best. Sue-authors might not be good writers but they have talent, just as much as all flamers. Whether it's singing or sports or even writing poetry. We aren't dumb and have no talent, because we all are smart in someway or another (whether math or science or something else.) Look some people like our stories and some people don't.
Avatarsues: This is true, mostly. Not all Concritters and Flamers are Zuko's Flamethrower, and therefore don't make checklists for their reviews. However, Suethors do seem to love throwing the checklist back in ZF's face, so it's a bit of a hypocritical situation there.
I also find the whole "Even if it sucks, they tried their best, so give them compliments!" part. LAWL. So even if it's Abyssmal Supreme, we're still obligated to be sugary sweet as if we were talking to a toddler? I don't think so.
And that disappoints me, you are being foolish. Just as foolish as I was. Read the story carefully and reread a paragraph that you might have misunderstood. If you don't like the story or if there is a problem in grammar or something alert the author as soon as possible. Don't be foolish, actually read the story.
Avatarsues: This just in- I read every single chapter, paragraph, and word of the Suefics I feature here. Don't give me any of that "make sure you read before you judge!" bullcrap. I know a stinker when I read one.
If you don't want Sue-authors then help us improve with a helping hand instead of aiming your fist directly at our face to break our noses.
Avatarsues: Are you saying our words on a bloody REVIEW hurt as much as a broken nose? I don't know if I should consider sending you an e-mail that says "For the love of God, get off of the internet!" or smile wickedly because there are some Sues that have annoyed me to the point where I have wanted to punch them.
Follow my steps then read the lessons I have written down.
-Step One
Read the story carefully so you don't miss anything.
Avatarsues: I've already said that I read the story carefully. I'm very professional about projecting the Sue's toxicity to the readers, thank you very much.
-Step Two
Read the story again, just incase you might have missed something.
Avatarsues: Yeah, just in case it wasn't painful enough the first time around, try it again! Maybe your eyes will burn out this time! :D
-Step Three
Review: compliment the author then you can give gentle advice or something. Whatever.
Avatarsues: So even if the Suefic is utter trash, I have to go out of my way just to be "nice"? I don't think so, sweetie. That's NOT how the internet works. We are not obligated to review your trashfic nicely.
-Step Four
If the authors PMs you with a flame or complaint simply explain why you flamed or criticized. Maybe offer to be a beta reader. If you don't want Sue-authors, why not help.
Avatarsues: There are several things wrong with this step.
One- If the Suethor is like you, PotD, they will block every person offering up concrit after sending snide remarks their way.
Two- Not everyone has the time to be a beta reader. It's not our job to beta the world because some 12-year-old fangirl can't grasp a concept on the English language.
Three- If we don't want Suethors, why don't we help? Because a majority of them do not accept help. And I believe I've already stated this- there will ALWAYS be Suethors. There will ALWAYS be Flamers/Concritters. It's how the Pit and the internet work.
-Step Five
If the author has disagreed on you being his/her beta reader then edit the story anyways. Then simply PM the author again with the edited story attached to the message. If the author has blocked you then send an anonymous review with your penname on it. Tell the author that you've edited their story and would appreciate it if you replaced the story with the one you edited.
Avatarsues: So even if the Suethor is being a prick, you edit their story anyway and send it to them? Talk about your wasted time and efforts. Also, telling the Suethor what to do with her fanfic and telling them to use what you wrote? Snob much? I mean, if I were an Author (or a Suethor), I'd probably get pissed that because I didn't want a beta and someone did it anyway, craming the idea down my throat with version of my fanfic that they edited, and then said that their copy was better and should be used instead of the current version.
Sheesh, you know what's wrong with these steps? If someone used them on PotD, she'd probably have another wanking bitchfit of "HOW DARE YOU?!"-ness. I severely doubt that she's even taking any of these steps to heart, considering how she herself acts in the face of concrit.
-Step Six
If none of these steps work then try and help another author. Then maybe it will help others.
Avatarsues: For the simple cost of time that you could be using to do something useful with your life, you can help a very crappy Suethor. /adoption agency commercial voice
Lesson Two.
OOCness is something we all might not like. Such as Mary-sues and what not. Remember flamers, that sometimes a character might not act like themselves even on the television. So just ignore that, unless the author has taken it too far or something.
Avatarsues: That's the thing about OOC-ness- you either have it or you don't. And trust me, after reading about fwoo-fwoo wuvy Zuko or GRR I HATE J00 I JEALOUS HOR Katara, I've seen it taken too far. OOC-ness is no one's friend, trust me.
If an event in the story has obligated a certain character to change a bit then let the author be. We all experience ordeals that force us to change. Believe me on that one, many events in my life have forced me to become what I really am inside.
Avatarsues: "many events in my life have forced me to become what I really am inside"? *snerks* Remember, PotD, you're the one who said that. And for the first time in this MST, I can't agree with you more. The Flamers and Concritters trapped you, forcing you to become a twit. At least you admit to it.
A Mary-sue is something we all hate as well. Point out the Mary-sue problems in the story. Gently advice the author to fix it and or replace it.
Avatarsues: And remember, when the gentle bullshit doesn't work, beta the work and shape it in your likeness! Then when the Suethor rejects your work, you have an awesome story that you can use as your own work of Sue art!
Lesson Three
If a person has an idea that the show and or yourself is not accustom to then help out the author.
Avatarsues: So it's our job to help the Sues with their badfic ideas now?
For example:
If Aang had siblings in a story then help the author out on that:
Avatarsues: By telling them that there's no way Aang had siblings and bidding them a fond farewell.
We all know that there is no way that the Avatar could have siblings (or else it would have been mentioned in an episode on the show by now.) And if Aang did have brothers/sisters they would have been dead by the time Aang woke up! Unless his siblings were like King Bumi and are still alive at the age one-hundred and twelve.
Avatarsues: Ever check the Suearchives here? Sues bypass the one-hundred and twelve thing by ripping off Aang's iceberg all of the time. Some even just forget that Aang's a hundred and twelve years old and keep their Sues young. *sighs*
If the author has put themselves in Avatar then let the author do so:
It's probably just for humor or something. And if not then it's just for nothing or something.
Avatarsues: Self inserts do no justice for the Author making a story, especially because most self inserts involve the horrible plot of "falling into the Avatar world!". That plot tends to follow three different roles in which the Sue hooks up with her dream character, uses the fanfic as a mouthpiece for her favorite couple and hooks them up herself, and/or save the world by Aang's side because it's so COOL. And no, "just letting the Suethor do so" doesn't fly with me. If it did, this journal wouldn't exist.
An OC in the story is nothing to get all worked up about:
If an OC (Other Character) gets matched up with a character from Avatar then so what? There are OCs in the cartoon as well. Such as Jun, she was only in one episode and that was the first time we ever saw her. I would say Jet was an OC too but he'll be in another episode so I’ll just forget about that. I would also say Haru was an OC but he will also be in later episodes too.
OC means "Other Character" right?
Avatarsues: Oh God, is this "point" a riot!
Tip the First: Learn what online terms (such as OC) mean before you write up your own little "guide", as a real guide is very much pointless if you can't even get the terms correct. OC stands for Original Character, not "Other Character", you dolt!
Tip the Second: Characters like Jun, Jet, and Haru are NOT OCs. If you would have bothered to learn what OC really means, you would have realized that Jun, Jet, and Haru are NOT OCs because they were created by the creators of Avatar, thus eliminating any shred of OC-ness. An OC is made by a fan of the show and stuffed into the world of the show via a fanfic. Jun, Jet, and Haru are not OCs because they belong to canon, which OCs clearly do not.
Lesson Four
Rape, torture, and malady are devices that have nothing to get worked up about either. If the author has used rape, torture, or malady as a plot device then it is to only help you understand the plot.
Avatarsues: ... ... ... you're kidding, right? Tortue and malady I can see as devices for fanfiction and not care about because torture and malady are great for evil characters and can really push the story in a dark direction. Rape, however, is a plot better not touched unless you certainly know your Sex Education and you know what rape is. I swear, if I had a buck for every RAPE!Sue I had here... I'd have a couple of dollars, actually.
As for rape being something not to get worked up about, you bet your sweet ass it is. It is especially painful when a Suethor writes it so horribly wrong one can only assume that the closest they know about rape is "cock goes where?".
For God's sake, watch some Law and Order SVU. Try the more recent season. Come back to me and tell me rape isn't something to get worked up about then, you poorly oblivious child.
In my story Katara was raped and impregnated by Jet. But that was only to help bring out the plot as well. Katara could trust Haru and have conviction and hope in what Haru had told her. Katara could not trust Jet, or even believe him because Jet had hurt her enough.
Jet: Let it be known that though my followers and I have a little twisted idea of the path to "good", I would never, EVER rape Katara. I'm too busy planning with Smellerbee to blow up that small Fire Nation town over there... *coughcough* But you didn't hear it from me!
DUH! If you don't accept what the author had written down to use as a plot device you'll never even get close to the plot. My plot was "Trust and hope with a few sprinkles of conviction." If you couldn't find that plot or any other plot it was because you were too distracted on what I or another author has used as a plot device.
Avatarsues: I think we were all too distracted by your wank and appalling spelling and format to notice any shred of "plot", PotD. And when it comes to my Sue reports, I grasp the plot's concept just fine. That still doesn't make it a good idea, though.
If an author of any kind may have ideas to put in the story. Such as mishaps and facts that are not mentioned in the show. If a sue-author or some other type of author has put their ideas in their fan-fiction leave them alone. It is only to help the plot or heighten the climax.
Avatarsues: You still haven't told us what to do if the idea or plot is flat out AWFUL. Because it's not the so-so or good or somewhat acceptable ideas that get me. It's the freakin' terrible ones that tear tank-sized holes in the plot that do.
For example:
We all know that there are four elements. But if an author has put a fifth element in their story it is only to help the plot. If a sue-author put in a fifth element...for the hell of it lets say it was energy. Energy would fit in nicely with the four elements we have now. Why? Because nothing could exist with out energy.
Avatarsues: Oh fuck, again with the "_____bending"! For those of you who don't know, I have a guide of my own for the massive amount of "_____bending" that plauges our fandom. You should check it out after this. That is, if you're up for two topics that could fry your brain in one night.
Anyway, Energy as a bending "element"? Not only is Energy not an element, it's most likely filed under Firebending with the Lightning. We're also forgetting the wonderful thing that excludes Energy from the bending elements- THERE ARE ONLY FOUR (technically three, but past fics make it work). Not ten, not one and a half, not even a hundred. FOUR. And that's final!
Shadow-bending is fairly just a myth. But if one is to hide in the shadows and look like a shadow himself/herself then that is not shadow-bending. It's simply a maneuver. It's also used in the military as well. So don't say that is shadow bending. But to bend the shadows and become a shadow yourself, that is shadow bending.
Avatarsues: Duh. We know what Shadowbending is, we see it all of the time in the fandom! Telling us what it is and what powers they ripoff from the military doesn't make it any less of a "_____bending" style.
Love can not be an element because it's an emotion. Element-Emotion, that doesn't mix right. If there was a love-bender then that person would be Cupid, also known as Eros the son of Aphrodite.
Avatarsues: Asian myths only, thx.
Spirit is a reasonable element to put down. Earth, water, fire, and air could not exist with out their spirits.
Avatarsues: Nowhere, and I mean nowhere, considers Spirit to be an element. So you shouldn't even consider Spirit to be a "_____bending" style at all. As for the elements not existing without spirits bull? Do rocks have spirit? Does water have spirit? Fire and air, do they? Not in the Avatar world. In the Avatar world, there's a special place for spirits- the Spirit World. The elements they bend do NOT have spirits. What is this, Shaman King?
Storm-bending, I would say could be another form of water-bending. Hurricanes, typhoons, and killer waves are all related to water. But if it is like lighting and tornado storm bending then that might be a problem. Unless you mix air-bending and fire-bending together.
An air-bender can make a tornado. Aang can do that, but that is not storm-bending.
A fire-bender can create lighting. That is not storm-bending.
If possible an earth-bender can cause earth quakes and mud slides but that isn’t storm bending either.
A water-bender can control the waves of the sea and maybe cause a tsunami and possibly a hurricane.
Avatarsues: Um. I know what a storm is. *waives at Katrina* And unlike yourself, a bunch of us can actually tell what elements fall under what. Stormbending is most likely Avatar business only, as no single element could really cause such a storm. Waterbending Masters could probably go with tsunamis, though.
See, regular benders can cause some type of weather or ‘natural’ disaster. So that’s nothing to flame at all. A water-bender found out a way to bend plants maybe a water-bender will one day find out how to make a hurricane or a typhoon.
Avatarsues: The hell does this have to with "_____bending"?
And THERE IS ONLY ONE AVATAR AT A TIME!
Aang: Try telling the Suethors that.
Now shall we get back to this "rape and torture" subject. If a character is beaten and hurt in a story that is only to hieghten the climax or the plot of the story. Torture is like mid-evil ages and actual torture chambers. But if a character is taken hostage for a while and is beaten and starved then that is not torture, it may be considered torture.
Avatarsues: "then that is not torture, it may be considered torture". Fangirl logic makes my head go BOOM!
And movies on Lifetime sometimes talk about rape. In the movie "Speak" a teenaged girl named Grace got raped. Lifetime is television for women and the movies and shows on Lifetime are to help woman stay strong and make the right choices. Rape is sometimes a plot device in movies. And it was in "Speak." COMMON SENSE! What are you going to flame the director and producers of that movie?
Avatarsues: Your ability to reduce yourself to the level of moron and below really astounds me, PotD.
One- Lifetime. NOT Nick. Your argument is therefore null and invalid. Thank you, have a nice day~
Two- The producers of Lifetime make it REAL and BELIEVABLE. Fangirls make rape an angst device for pity, or worse, they just wake up the next morning and NOTHING effects them at all!
Why don't you use some of that "common sense" before writing this dreck, hm?
Malady and or illness is fair, it was even used in the show. Episode thirteen, "The Blue Spirit," season one, last episode of the season.
Avatarsues: Remember those fact things I keep bringing up to make yourself look better? This is one of them. "The Blue Spirit"? NOT the last episode of the season. That would be "The Seige of the North", thanks. Any episode guide on the internet would tell you that.
I fail to see what kind of argument you're making with the malady, though. Maybe if you planned this mess out a little more, your point would have come across more clearer.
Lesson Five
Bad grammar is very distracting. If the author has fixed the grammar so many times but there are still problems then help the author. Maybe the author has some trouble in grammar.
Avatarsues: Do I see "I was like this but you guys didn't help me at all! This is what you SHOULD have done!" in that sentence? Because I'm sure I do. No, PotD, it's not our job to tutor you. Go hit the textbooks if you want to fix your atrocious grammar.
I do and I accept that so I do my best to fix it. And if I still have a few misspelled words and what not I'll fix it again until my story has flawless grammar and such.
Avatarsues: Why don't you take your own advice and get a beta? If not, use a bloomin' spellcheck! My past computer even had a grammar checker, even. Read with me, PotD, it's NOT. THAT. HARD.
Lesson Six
Clichés, metaphors, and similes are also nothing to get mad at either. If the author has used a cliché or a metaphor or a simile then that is only to help you understand the plot or something in the story.
Avatarsues: Metaphors and similes I see no problems with, but there are only so many cliches I can take. Such as Doublebender Sues or Sues with blue eyes in the Fire Nation. It just gets to the point where it doesn't make any sense in canon anymore!
Example of a cliché:
If a character was to purpose to another character then that is a cliché. It's a normal cliché that happens in real life as well. Such as we all use metaphors and similes in real life too.
Dictionary: Cliche- A trite or overused expression or idea.
Avatarsues: Man, if being proposing to is cliche, why haven't we all gotten married yet?
Sleeping is a cliché and eating is a cliché...what our characters shouldn't eat and sleep?
Avatarsues: What a stupid argument... even if sleeping and eating were cliche, we'd still do them because they are essential for human life!
Lesson Seven
If you don't want flames or something then...I know this is cliché but
"Treat people the way you want to be treated."
Avatarsues: How about no for four hundred, Alex? Seriously, though the internet has etiquette rules, it doesn't exactly have the "treat other people the way you want to be treated" thing down packed. This is simply because if someone doesn't like what they see on a site that offers up a reviewing system, they will say it. End of story.
And if not then here is another cliché:
"If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all."
Avatarsues: It's times like these that make me hate Bambi, which is where PotD probably got the quote from.
Also if the author has put facts about himself/herself in their profile then so what? What I say about myself is true so don't flame the profile. It's not even a story so that is nothing to get worked up about either.
Avatarsues: Oh, oh! This is another thing about YOU and YOUR SPECIAL SELF, isn't it? Well, little miss Indian girl, we're bitching about your profile because you can't be even more wrong about being in the same lineage and "dead ringer" for Pocahontas. This just in, sweetie- Disney Poc? SHE WAS A LIE. The real woman in the animal skins was short, darker skinned, and probably grubby (no offence). She would NOT have glowing ivory skin like you and she certainly wouldn't have beautiful locks of ebony flowing hair.
Not many people bitch about profiles. We're just bitching about yours because we all know you're lying~
Lesson Eight.
A checklist is greatly deigned of all you flamers. Sometimes the checklist might offend the author or might not even mention a problem in the story. And sometimes it might even say lies about the author and how they write. So don't make a checklist, write an opinion. A checklist is nothing but a long meaningless list of what the author should do. If we have to fix our grammar that is a fair piece if advice. But if you tell us to go die under a rock, that really pisses us off.
Avatarsues: Yet again, this is a problem YOU are having. This is NOT, under any stretch of the imagination, part of a "guide". I mean, we get it already, you're panties are in a bunch because of Zuko's Flamethrower. Can we get on to the "guide" part now?
Sue-authors might not be able to write a story but that doesn't mean they are dumb and have no talent. We all have talent, so don't insult the author, help the author. You can insult the story if that is what you are left with but don't insult the author.
Avatarsues: So... now it's okay to insult the fanfic, just as long as you don't insult the ickle Suethor? Newsflash, PotD, you acted this way too- when a Suethor is flamed, even if it's just about her story and not about her personally, most of them take up pitchforks. You did the same thing, which is apparent in this "guide".
Also some flamers put the stuff they write on their checklist in their story? But if a sue-author does that it’s wrong? And if a flamer does that it's fairly okay? What the fuck man?
Avatarsues: I don't know about you guys, but that first question-statement didn't make a lick of sense to me. Then again, a good chunk of this mess doesn't make any sense to me...
Lesson Nine
Please don't threaten the author and or Sue-author you might be flaming. That is just immature and childish. It is nothing but a sheer sign of desperation.
Avatarsues: Funny, because this "guide" just reeks of desperation. *grins*
Lesson Ten
If a Sue-author has stated a character to be a Mary-sue then that is a fallacy.
Katara: Unless they make me a second Avatar or an Icebender or a Goddess or a... *goes on and on and on*
Yue is not a Mary-sue. Yes I know she was a princess and all but she had her flaws. I don't know any of them right now...but I am getting to that.
Yue: There's only one flaw with me, and that's that I DIED. It still doesn't make me a Sue, though.
Katara is not a Mary-sue what so ever. Sure she might have looks and smarts but she isn't a Mary-Sue. She has flaws with her water bending and flaws in the cartoon as well. DUH!
Katara: *points to the above about Authors making her a canon Sue*
Now if a Sue-author has created a Mary-sue alert the author immediately.
Avatarsues: Isn't that what Flames and Concrit are for...?
Now if an OC in a story might have one or two Mary-sue qualities then that is fine.
Avatarsues: That depends on what the one or two qualities are. If one of them is second Avatar and the other is second-to-last Airbender, I'm calling Sue.
But if the OC has like a library of Mary-sue qualities then alert the author!
Avatarsues: Not like they'd listen. Most of them pull a PotD and block the person alerting them.
Lesson Eleven
Flamers please stop with the whole "that's no exception" shit. If a character has changed it is because of an event in the story. That doesn't make it the plot though. It doesn't even make it a moral.
Avatarsues: But there IS no exception for second Avatars, second-to-last Airbenders, falling into the Avatar world, among other things. And what the hell is with this "moral" thing? When was I ever "moral" about this stuff?
Try actually naming problems in the story.
Avatarsues: Funny, because both Zuko's Flamethrower and I do just that and you still complain.
Lesson Twelve
A Mary-sue is a person who has everything. Perfect life, money and such.
Avatarsues: The definition of a Mary Sue varies from person to person, but in my opinion your statement is not true. For me, a Mary Sue is someone with immense powers, WONDERFUL looks, and the ability to attract any man she pleases in any manner she pleases. Perfect lives are something I'd actually like to see in Avatar fanfics, as I like it better than the WOE IS ME I KUT MESELF backgrounds.
Money is no trait for Mary Sue-ism. Sorry.
But if a Sue-author is to write about a person who has been mentally and physically abused all his/her life and may have looks and brains but still has a wretched life and is a possible masochist then that person is not a Mary-sue at all.
Avatarsues: .... WHUT. How the HELL does mentally and physically abused = masochist?! No no no no NO! Good Lord, PotD, how can you BE so dense? Being a masochist isn't a wrongdoing, but being mentally and physically abused is indeed wrong. And when it's a key element in a Suefic, I only feel sorry for the people reading the dreck instead of the poor, emo Sue.
Example:
The Outsiders was a very interesting book about a 1960's gang rivalry. Ponyboy (the protagonist) had looks (well to me anyways) and brains and some talent. But his parents were dead and in the climax in the story his friend Johnny Cade also known as Johnny Cakes killed somebody and him and Pony had to run away.
Avatarsues: Oh God, it's the return of the irrelevant points! Yet again, I must say- The Outsiders and Nick. Two totally different things. Do you think Nick will give Avatar a green light for rival gang stories that have Sokka killing people, forcing Aang to run away? I don't think so!
Pony was not Mary-Sue in any way I could find. Look I wrote a complete Mary-sue once so I know what the hell I am talking about here. A Mary-sue is a person in a book or fan fiction or story who has everything they could want. Money, friends, looks, brains, and everything about them is perfect. That is a true Mary-Sue.
Avatarsues: And it's the return of the "learn the damn terms!" statement. As a female is called a Mary Sue, a male is called a Gary Stu (sometimes Marty Stu). I've also explained that money, friends, looks (SUPAH beauty aside), and brains (SUPAH brains aside) don't ALWAYS equal a Mary Sue. The everything perfect statement does, only you keep neglecting the uber powerful warrior aspect.
Lesson Thirteen
I agree with Zuko'sflamethrower on this one...THERE ARE NO STEREOS, IPODS, TVS, AND TECHOLIGY IN THE TIME PERIOD OF AVATAR!
Avatarsues: Tell that to the Suethors who bring cellphones into the Avatar world... and use them as if they'd actually work there!
The only electricity in Avatar is the lighting and thunder. They probably had plumbing but no TV, IPODS, and stereos. Really? Flamers you have the right to criticize that in a story.
Avatarsues: Oh, so we need your permission on what's okay and not okay to flame/concrit about? So that's how fangirls work...
Lesson Fourteen
Stop being malign all you flamers, no one owns the internet.
Avatarsues: Just as we don't own the internet, you don't either. So stop telling us what to do, thx.
This war can be pacified if we all come to a compromise.
Avatarsues: Kinda like how you attempted to compromise by shoving a treaty with benefits only on your side down our throats?
This is why I wrote this guide, to help pacify and silence this war.
Avatarsues: Really? I thought you were just trying to keep your monthly drama wankfest from ending.
When you flame you're plotting your own downfall.
Avatarsues: And when you have a bitchfit of epic proportions on the internet, you're never going to live it down.
As for Sue-authors flamers do have a point.
Avatarsues: What's with all of the sentence fragments?
Some of us Sue-authors need help in grammar or we just need a bit of help.
Avatarsues: I vote all of the above when it comes to figuring out what you need, PotD!
Look I have no beta-reader and my spell-check is micro-soft word. I work alone and walk alone just like I do in school but please Sue-authors don't make the mistakes I have accomplished in my writing.
Whaaaambulance: WAAAAAAAAAH-WOOOOO! WAAAAAAAAH-WOOOOO!
Avatarsues: I was wondering when she was going to bring up her school angst. It was only a matter of time.
Flamers please criticize, don't flame. When you flame you are just hurting another and that mistake will come back and bite you in butt if you don't give advice.
Avatarsues: Doesn't "your fanfic sucks and you need to fix it ASAP" not count as advice anymore?
But I have no conscious so I don't feel guilt for my actions, but I do have common sense.
Avatarsues: PSSHH. Keep on telling yourself the "common sense" part, honey. This just in- just because you say it a thousand times, it doesn't make it true.
Bundles of it, flamers don’t be impertinent.
Dictionary: Bundles...? I got nothin'.
You're not immune to Sue-authors.
Avatarsues: O rly? 'Cause I am.
You're acting similar to white blood cells and viruses. You're the white blood cell and we're the germ.
A Doctor: I couldn't have said it any better myself. Mary Sues are indeed germs of the fanfiction world!
But some bacteria is good for us, the human body has symbiosis you know. Just like a koala and the bacteria in its stomach (or intestine) and just like a cleaner fish with a shark. Or maybe a vulture and the strong bacteria in its stomach. Wow those aren't similes or metaphors you hear or read everyday now are they?
Avatarsues: Good Lord, is that ever a paragraph of WORTHLESSNESS. As far as I'm concerned, Mary Sues in the Avatar section of the pit are germs of the bad variety. I know I don't enjoy most of the Sues there.
So does the internet and so does this web-site?
Avatarsues: Um... what?
Please flamers don't get me to beg, I don't beg.
Avatarsues: Of course you're not begging us. You're forcing it on us like the prude you are. Good job!
I wait, flamers you do have points and you do have ignorant comments.
Avatarsues: As opposed to the girl who compares Avatar to Lifetime movies and the Outsiders?
Nobodies perfect, so help the Sue-authors. Don't assassinate us, we're innocent people!
Avatarsues: They might be "innocent", but you're sure not. You're innocence ran out when your wank went on for more than a week's time.
Please don't abide by the stereo-type of Sue-authors, please.
Avatarsues: ... it's kind of hard to with all of the stereotypical Sues being produced day by day by day by day.
This concludes my guide. Please review.
Avatarsues: Oh, thank God! It's almost over!
Let’s see how the characters of Avatar feel about this and myself.
Aang: Drat! I thought we almost escaped from this crazy girl's "story"!
"It seems fairly thought out, now can I go back to sleep?" Sokka asked.
Sokka: Because that's all I care about! Sleep and food and food and sleep!
"It does seem like it is for the right cause." Katara states.
Katara: Of course it seems like this book is here for the right cause! *throws it into a fire and warms her hands near the bright flames* Aaaah, that's better!
"I think it's true. Flamers are acting no better then the Fire Nation!" Aang yells.
Avatarsues: But I LIKE being like the Fire Nation towards Sues...
Aang: What's a flamer, anyway? *is totally oblivious to fanfiction speak*
"I didn't mention the Fire Nation." PreyOfTheDemons reminds Aang.
Avatarsues: Aaarg, it's a self insert fanfic too! *headdesk*
"Shut up! We have to get back to earth bending practice now!" Toph orders Aang.
Toph: We've got much better things to do than listen to a pre-teen angstling and her cries, you know!
"Sorry." Aang apologizes.
Aang: I forgot that fangirls think their issues are more important than me masting the elements and saving the world.
All of a sudden Azula and her friends show up and snatch the book from Aang’s hands.
Zula: Because a book is more important than the Avatar! Won't father be proud of my accomplishments!
Aang and the gang quickly climb on Appa and fly away.
The Gaang: Thank God, we've escaped from this madness!
“Wait, where did this book come from?” Mai asked with a emotion free tone of voice.
Zula: Didn't you see me totally pass up catching the Avatar for this book?
"Does this have to do with the Fire Nation? Why is this person referring to flamers?" Azula asked, ready to throw some fire at whoever wrote this. Ready to take some rage out on PreyOfTheDemons.
Avatarsues: FINALLY! Something I can agree with on here! Go get her, Zula!
"Oh shit. Looks like I gotta run!" PreyOfTheDemons says quickly before running away from the fire blast.
****
Avatarsues: And so ends this chapter of PreyOfTheDemons wankery. I'm not going through the trouble of mocking the Author's Notes at the end of the first chapter, nor will I be bothering with the second "chapter". The second "chapter" is basically a rehash of the "help us out, so we don't have to!" bullcrap anyway. That goes double for the third "chapter".
Tune in next time, when PotD wanks again! One can only wonder when that'll be, but knowing her wank pattern, she's bound to show up in the future sometime soon.
Redeeming Feature:
RAP SHEET:
~Total lack and acknowledgment of common sense and logic.
~Comparing Avatar to things completely different and not even on the same level as the show, such as the Lifetime network and The Outsiders.
~The whole ordeal smells and reads of vendetta. Half of the time the "fanfic" reads of PotD yelling at Zuko's Flamethrower.
~The "justification" and uncaring views of rape and torture. It's not like those are BAD things. Heavens no! /sarcasm
~PotD's attempt at having other people do the grunt work for Suethors. Yes, it's NEVER the Suethor's fault that they're writing sucks. It's all our fault for not rewriting their fanfics for them! /more sarcasm
~The "justification" of "_____bending". Trust me on this one, Suethors- IT NEVER WORKS.
~Did I mention the total lack of common sense and logic? Because it's really distracting.
Credits
"How To Help Sue Authors For Flamers" by PreyOfTheDemons
MiSTed by Avatar-Sues
MiSTing concept by Best Brains Inc.
Original MiST at Avatar-Sues
***
If an OC (Other Character) gets matched up with a character from Avatar then so what? There are OCs in the cartoon as well. Such as Jun, she was only in one episode and that was the first time we ever saw her. I would say Jet was an OC too but he'll be in another episode so I'll just forget about that. I would also say Haru was an OC but he will also be in later episodes too.
OC means "Other Character" right?
